We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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