Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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