I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
