You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
