it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
