So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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