I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
