stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize