So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
