he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
