Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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