one might say we're banned from that church
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
