She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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