can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize