i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
