We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
