2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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