so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
