Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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