she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
