M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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