I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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