party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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