dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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