and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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