Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Is it because I queefed?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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