well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
