oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
