Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
