i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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