my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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