dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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