I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I have demons in me.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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