unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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