i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
