His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
