Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
