i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
