It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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