I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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