I'm really into asian looking animals
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We're too hungover to prance.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
