You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
