How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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