You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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