One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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