Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
