Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
did you just send me my own nude
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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