My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
