I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
