Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
i believe in u and ur pee
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
