my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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