Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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