I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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