need another drink. this is the easiest way
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
