Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
