It's like God shit irony all over that family
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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