I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I believe in your delicious
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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