apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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