I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
