i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
